First thing is first: This is an uncomfortable conversation.
Please read to the end. There’s an entire thought process I have going here and I would love for you to see it through and then provide feedback. I would love an open discussion because I am always open to hear how someone else thinks. I am not here for arguments so don’t start.
Second thing: I am in no way saying any of this is acceptable, I am in no way okay with the idea of adults harming a child. I have three beautiful daughters and I would go to jail for them if needed. So I don’t play around with any of this. This matter is highly serious and highly disturbing. I’m just saying, we all know that people like this exist and they aren’t going away unfortunately. We have to stop being uncomfortable talking about it. It’s real and it’s sick as hell but these people have serious problems!! Not an excuse, but as other people, we typically try to fix people with problems right?
Let’s talk about it!
I kept seeing angry people post about Amazon having this on their Prime selections. At first, I was skeptical, but I didn’t judge until I watched it. One note, this documentary was created in 2016. So for people to bring it up now that this is trending, that’s a slick move. However, if you had a problem with it, why didn’t you talk about it in 2016?
I want everyone to take the time (as I just did) to watch this if you haven’t. You must not watch this with a closed mind.
This documentary wasn’t created to normalize pedophilia as many people are saying. It was meant to bring awareness to the problem at hand to prevent this shit from happening in the first place. Normalizing something is like the fight for the LGBTQ community who continuously fight for their right to love who they want to love and society is finally accepting that because that’s not bad whatsoever. Who cares if it’s a male and male or female and female. It better not be a child though, that’s obviously extremely wrong. This documentary is not saying that pedophilia should be accepted in that form. This documentary is simply stating that there may be a way to stop these people from hurting their targets if we acknowledge the problem in the right ways. From what I can see, we all want to fix this problem we have right? We want pedophiles to stop fucking hurting our children! We want sick people to keep their thoughts in their heads, let alone even think them in the first place. We can’t stop someone’s thoughts though.
Therefore, if you are #saveourchildren and promoting this recent trend, which BTW, has been around forever, sex trafficking, children being molested and sexually abused, this has been a thing, I’m glad people are finally talking about it! It’s the same way #blacklivesmatter has been a thing but the hash tag dies out after a few months until the next time. Why is there always a next time?
Don’t jump on a bandwagon if you’re not about to actually try to make effective change or bring awareness to things that can prevent this from occurring.
Pedophilia is sick and twisted, absolutely. It would be easier to just kill these people instead of trying to help. However, our current systems in place isn’t the death penalty and how are you going to change that? Take it into your own hands? Sure, but even the victims who kill their abusers have to go to jail for a bit until a judge rules that it was justified…. what kind of system do we even have in place? Why do we have to ask if it was justified to kill someone who was hurting me?
Our current systems in place includes some jail time and a label for the pedophiles, sometimes the prisoners take things into their own hands behind the bars. That isn’t enough. These people who are potentially mentally ill (not an excuse) but they are going to act again because the value of acting upon their thoughts are higher than the effects of “punishment”. Repeat offenders are a thing because our justice system isn’t punishing shit. If they were, there wouldn’t be “repeat offenders” 🤯
Nothing is stopping this from happening. There are people as young as 14-17 , maybe younger, that figure out they like kids. That the 8 year old they liked when they were 8 years old, they still like the 8 year old even though they themselves are now 14-15 years of age. They are scared, because what can they do about it? They are realizing like oh shit, I have a problem, society is going to hate me, I don’t know what to do. Then before you know it, it’s too late.
True story, from the documentary, a 17 year old reached out for help because he realized he had a problem. He told someone, “if you don’t hear from me again, I’m contemplating suicide.” He killed himself at 17 and his parents may not even know why.
For the answer to the “what can I do?” I know there are obvious ones. Perhaps they should just change their thoughts, sure. Stop thinking like that, just go find someone who is their own age. Great advice! However, instead of instantly turning away from these people, let’s study them and figure out to see, can they do that and if so how? If we’re being honest, I’m not sure if you’ve ever tried to change your thoughts, it’s doable, but it’s difficult.
There are studies being conducted to show that the brain in pedophiles are actually different because the connections, connectivity tissue, something like this, and the white matter in the brain, are different than the males who find older females or females their age attractive. Literal evidence that the brain elicits the same response in a pedophile when they see a child or teen that are elicited in heterosexual males when they see a grown female. What do you do about that? Can you change it? We change the brain with therapy and medicine usually. Right?
There are people who try to get help before they act out but there’s no help because society fkn hates pedophiles and rightfully so. Again, I’m not agreeing with what these people do. I’m saying, how can we truly stop what’s happening? In our entire world, there are only 2 research groups working on this because that’s how uncomfortable we are with this concept.
Fact check: there are over 250,000 people who have pedophilic tendencies in Germany alone. In Canada, an estimated 160,000. What do you think the numbers are for our country? There are people who will never act on their tendencies or thoughts. There are people you don’t even know that are having these private thoughts and you are their friend, family member, coworker, etc. These sick people are around you and it’s not by your choice. Whether you want to acknowledge that or not.
If we can stop them from acting on these sick thoughts, we can decrease child sex trafficking and molestations that occur around our own city everyday.
There are some resources for people who need help to stop yourself from doing something regrettable and dumb.
There’s also a group called virtuous pedophiles which is a terrible name, they try to help each other not act on their tendencies as well, taking an oath to celibacy, I understand this entire shit is twisted, it’s uncomfortable as hell to even write about and to think about the judgment of this post. It’s terrifying actually because I know this can all get twisted and I know people are going to say, “They are trying to normalize it” and I understand how it looks like that and to some degree they are trying to normalize that this exists but they are not justifying these actions are correct. It’s not people saying, “It’s so normal for them to feel this way towards kids!”. I think it’s people saying, “There’s a way to prevent this from happening, let’s figure out how to do that!”
Here’s a story from a regular person who was a photographer I believe (not a pedophile) who joined the virtuous pedophiles group to get insight on it.
All I’m saying is, truly educate yourself. We can make a difference. We just have to figure out how to be a little uncomfortable to do so. So uncomfortable that I’ve been writing this post literally all day. Trying to find the best way to say this while being uncomfortable even saying it. Help these sick people, how could I think of that? I think of the bigger picture. The picture of taking the time to get uncomfortable to save innocent children from being touched inappropriately or even worse. If these current researchers have the foundation for potentially treating these sick thoughts, wouldn’t you agree that we should try to prevent them from acting on their thoughts. Or do you agree with our current system of pretending these people don’t exist and let’s act super fucking shocked when there is another news story about this.
Break the cycle.
Step out of your comfort zone, read and watch things to truly learn, and figure out how you can help the problem. If you want to push for these people to get help, push for that. If you want to push instant death penalty for them, then push that. If you want to take it upon yourself to handle these issues, figure something out. But do more proactive things than mindlessly sharing information because you read it on someone’s post.
There’s more that we can and should be doing, I’m going to try to figure that out.
The following projects are also out for catching pedophiles and you should support these people as well, as they are proactively fighting the war against sex trafficking and sexual abuse of a child or adolescent. So, if everyone can fight the war, one of the many wars we have in our country and world, then the world may be one step closer to finding the peace.