Sorry Mother Earth! 🌎🌍🌏

current events, Poetry, thoughts

This world right now, is a hard place to live in.

I keep reminding myself, focus on the present.

But time isn’t telling, these feelings won’t fade.

There’s a knot in my stomach, are we gonna be ok?

Close my eyes and breathe out, repeat till I’m sleeping.

Let all my thoughts drown, I’m in way too deep.

And my life isn’t how I want it it be.

So I constantly wonder of the future I can’t see.

This history we’re living through,

I’m in denial.

How did it end up like this?

This nation’s on trial.

And though I’m not here to blame

We should all be ashamed.

How else do you think that anything could change?

When we can’t even find our compassion anymore,

For the people all around us, for my children and yours.

-Dear Perception

TRIGGERED 🚨

anxiety, Poetry, thoughts

Triggered.

Go figure.

Sound familiar?

What’s the deal here?

The world’s chaotic.

Wish I was bionic!

If I want it, then I got it,

That’s the type of shit I’m on!

Used to be so small,

Trying to survive,

in the streets of the hood,

I remember those nights.

Adapted to life.

Never have I been blind!

I cut my heart out,

one piece at a time!

I’m left with holes and my mind’s not right!

I’m getting really tired of these feelings inside.

I usually shut them out completely

But that’s never really pleasing

Leaves me cold and feeling empty

So I open up again, forgetting that I bleed easy!

Then my head gets to spinning!

Then my breathing starts to increase!

Then the speed I try to decrease!

Before it’s too late and I’m wheezing!

The tears start flowing, my mind’s freezing!

Welcome back anxiety, didn’t know we had a meeting!

-Dear Perception

Influenced Mind

Poetry, thoughts

I let it overpower me.

It was pulling me down like gravity.

Like I couldn’t escape it,

What a tragedy.

Such a sight to see.

The raging me.

I quieted the rage because it was wrong.

I needed to show that I was strong.

That we all make mistakes all along.

But we can fix them if we wanted to belong.

To a society of peace and kindness.

We can’t all lead the blind with our blindness.

We have to be way more open minded.

We have to give our children better mindsets.

But the brain and the mind aren’t on the same page.

One is pulling me in the opposite way.

My actions are running astray.

It’s time to reset, run away!

If only it was all so easy.

Escape to an alternate reality.

Meditation, that’s what provides clarity.

It helps you reset to live in peace.

I guess there’s some turns along this path.

It’s time to get back on the right track.

Find balance within, no looking back.

I only want peace, what’s wrong with that?

Analyze, listen, repeat.

I’m just trying to be a better version of me!

-Dear Perception

Moms and Depression

advice, anxiety, depression, mental health, Parenting, thoughts, trigger warning

Mom Kills 5 Children and Herself, Notes left behind scream Mental Health Issues

I’ll summarize the article above as it fucking sucks to read.

A 25 year old mom of 5 kids, 3 biologically hers and 2 step children.

She killed all of the kids, set the house on fire, before shooting herself in the head outside at the picnic table.

She left notes explaining her mental health state and how she lost the battle.

Something I don’t understand: why the children?

This topic is a controversial one as many people won’t understand how it got to be this bad.

The husband ignored the signs. He probably thought she was crying out for attention. He called off a welfare check because he thought she was okay despite her constant texts that she was not.

The next day, all of his kids would be gone.

My heart hurts for the ones left behind, for those children who endured this evil act, and for the mom.

Moms, we deal with a lot of shit sometimes.

We’re out in this world trying to play the roles of multiple people and then people question us when we lose our shit.

We’re almost expected to run households while also trying to keep up with the demands of the world.

This mom killed herself and her family because she lost the support she had for 10 days! Her husband went to stay at his fathers to be closer to work and she was supposed to hold the fort down.

Only she couldn’t. Because she was 25 years old trying to raise five young children.

I’m 30 trying to raise 3 children and let me tell you, it’s not easy.

I watched my mom try to kill herself multiple times because the pressure became too much.

I’m not saying what she did was right, I’m just saying it’s time for people to stop expecting mom’s to uphold this superhero role. It’s unrealistic and a lot of mothers are struggling.

Families are broken these days. Moms are often left to figure it out. More moms than dads but for the dads who feel like this too, I’m not discrediting you at all!

Parents in general, if you feel alone, reach out to someone. Save your babies before you hurt them. It’s not cool to put the kids through things because you can’t mentally handle it and it’s OK to say that you can’t do it!

Our minds are crazy and can really cause us to do things that we regret. In this ladies case, had she had someone just check in on her, maybe the kids would still be here and maybe she would be too!

Check on your friends and parents, hang in there. We are all just surviving the best we can!

-Dear Perception

Wandering Mind 🧠

advice, Poetry, thoughts

Learn about me.

Learn with me.

Learn.

Either way, do it with a fire that burns.

Burn it into your brain.

The knowledge is yours to regain.

Asks questions along the way.

Question everything you hear, see, and say.

Question all of our society.

It’s a puzzling reality that people refuse to change.

And when you ask these questions, question yourself.

Are you contributing or are you detrimental?

Do you truly care or just crave attention?

Is what you’re doing really worth a mention?

Have you thought beyond your current situation?

Who’s really looking out for you and me, besides ourselves?

Everyone has some kind of sad story to tell.

I’m not belittling your tale.

I’m just saying we either win or we fail.

We either work or cry and complain.

Or there’s room to do both, just don’t lose your aim.

What do you want from life?

Be honest, it’s time.

Is your current life aligned with your future goals?

Are you living in the present moment while you go?

There’s always so many things to consider and think about.

Really, how do you feel, because that should count!

Listen to your emotions.

They usually talk pretty loud!

-Dear Perception

Meet Those Deadlines ✍️

advice, Parenting

Today, I scheduled a meeting with my kid.

I planned it ahead of time.

I told her 4pm, we can do something together.

And you know what happened?

At 4pm, maybe a few minutes late in true fashion, I played a game with her.

You know what’s super fucking sad?

I scheduled a meeting with my kid!

I treated her like a job, and oh snap I paid even more attention to her.

I had a picnic this evening as well on a blanket, in the kitchen.

All three girls and myself, just hanging out having a random ass picnic put together by my four year old.

Today, I also played babies with my 4 year old, unscheduled.

Why?

Because I realized if I treated my children the way I treat my job, I would pay more attention.

I would stop postponing these memories.

Before I know it, they are lost in their own “teenage” world when in reality, did we push them there?

Our jobs are important, and these children are our jobs!

Our lifelong job.

We are replaceable at work.

We are not replaceable in our children’s hearts.

As my children sleep, I advise you all to disconnect, and meet those deadlines.

Your child’s future depends on it!

-Dear Perception

Move Forward

advice, mental health, thoughts

Stop going back to the same shit!

It’s time to move forward and never question why it happened. If it happened, there was a reason.

Give the same energy other people give. Fuck benefits of the doubt, fuck that they might be a good person, that you can shape them.

I say we give time limits.

Set boundaries, up your standards realistically.

If you’re a good person, if you provide and survive independently, then chase that shit.

If you’re not, then don’t expect to have someone just come in and take care of you.

Match your partner!

Match your friends!

Match the energy!

I pay attention to how I feel.

I make decisions based on the energy and the analyzed situation.

I don’t jump into things without thinking.

I think too much sometimes but that’s okay, if I’m wrong I’m wrong.

I’m not scared to admit that I have flaws and make mistakes.

The human population has turned into this competitive melting pot and we are all just melting.

Melting into pools of blood and tears of sadness.

The population kills itself because life is too difficult and complex for us to understand. So we give up.

Some don’t but some do and it’s terrifying.

Terrifying that we literally control ourselves but we can’t control ourselves.

That we choose to make excuses or we can’t grasp the concept of working harder and being better than our examples.

You grew up and believe it or not, what you do as an adult typically mirrors your elders, all of them.

Your parents or caregivers, your teachers, your older peers.

You look around and see things and you like them. Why? Why do you like them?

Is it something beneficial that you are mirroring?

Think deeper and question yourself instead of others.

Think beyond what you were taught and what you see.

Think about who you are when nobody is looking.

Are you happy with yourself? 

-Dear Perception

Rethink your Thoughts 🤐

mental health, Poetry, thoughts

I want to be positive.

I want to calm my mind, quiet it.

Just for a bit.

I want to be peaceful.

I want nothing to affect my soul.

That’s the goal.

I want to be a kind person.

One that is constantly learning.

The desire is burning.

The problem is there’s too much to know.

There’s not enough time for me to divulge,

In endless knowledge, you know?

So day in and day out, I get lost.

Distractions are surrounding us.

Look up.

Absorb your environment.

Connect and thrive in it.

You’re on a time limit.

Do you want to be positive?

Do you want to calm your mind and quiet it?

Just for a bit?

-Dear Perception

Reflection 💭

mental health, Poetry, thoughts

I’m not at my best.

This is hard to confess.

Yet when I look up in the mirror.

I see a fucking broken mess.

There’s things I wish I handled better.

Signs that I should get myself together.

I don’t quite understand the way I operate.

There’s levels inside that I must learn to navigate.

Unlock the triggers that set me off.

The train is wrecking but maybe it could stop.

If I just sit and think of how to calm my mind.

The mechanisms in place don’t work all the time.

They say to breathe in and out and in again.

They say to take a walk, don’t let the demons win.

They don’t deny that the demons lie within.

That’s darkness talking, light must overcome this.

The problem is that darkness there is pretty strong .

He takes the light and makes it seem all wrong.

It’s easy to turn my back when I’m just going along.

Stuck in this zombie stage, can’t get out of it mode.

Is that because I often tend to lose myself.

To try to please the world and save everyone else?

The changes that need to be made start with me.

Make the decision to figure it out and set myself free.

-Dear Perception

Persistence

mental health, Poetry, thoughts

Sometimes my mind’s not right.

So I sit and I write.

With endless thoughts coming out.

Silently but it shouts.

Screaming for change.

Thirsting for anything.

Different.

Seeking but not finding.

Potential is really blinding.

My heart just isn’t in it.

Shut down and abort the mission.

Till the next time.

Should there be a common one to find.

I breathe without thinking.

Same way I operate on a daily living.

Numb.

What have I become?

I’m usually not the one.

To turn down fun.

But now I run.

Shelter in place.

Get out of my face.

I don’t have time to deal with your shit today.

I’m not in the mood.

Yours is killing mine too.

Let’s separate to keep the peace.

Why can’t this be easy?

Strength.

Encouraging it seems to be.

To be the strongest version of me.

Diversions they seem.

To divert the truths.

What’s the use?

When there’s always an excuse?

Persistence.

The drive to avoid the distance.

The time that it takes to conquer and divide.

Is too long so we see some resistance.

Giving up ain’t in my blood.

I’ll bleed out until I’m done.

The reality is that there’s still more.

More to explore.

More to endure.

This can’t be the best version of me.

I continue along the self-realization journey.

I encourage you all to join me.

-Dear Perception