Meet Those Deadlines ✍️

advice, Parenting

Today, I scheduled a meeting with my kid.

I planned it ahead of time.

I told her 4pm, we can do something together.

And you know what happened?

At 4pm, maybe a few minutes late in true fashion, I played a game with her.

You know what’s super fucking sad?

I scheduled a meeting with my kid!

I treated her like a job, and oh snap I paid even more attention to her.

I had a picnic this evening as well on a blanket, in the kitchen.

All three girls and myself, just hanging out having a random ass picnic put together by my four year old.

Today, I also played babies with my 4 year old, unscheduled.

Why?

Because I realized if I treated my children the way I treat my job, I would pay more attention.

I would stop postponing these memories.

Before I know it, they are lost in their own “teenage” world when in reality, did we push them there?

Our jobs are important, and these children are our jobs!

Our lifelong job.

We are replaceable at work.

We are not replaceable in our children’s hearts.

As my children sleep, I advise you all to disconnect, and meet those deadlines.

Your child’s future depends on it!

-Dear Perception

Move Forward

advice, mental health, thoughts

Stop going back to the same shit!

It’s time to move forward and never question why it happened. If it happened, there was a reason.

Give the same energy other people give. Fuck benefits of the doubt, fuck that they might be a good person, that you can shape them.

I say we give time limits.

Set boundaries, up your standards realistically.

If you’re a good person, if you provide and survive independently, then chase that shit.

If you’re not, then don’t expect to have someone just come in and take care of you.

Match your partner!

Match your friends!

Match the energy!

I pay attention to how I feel.

I make decisions based on the energy and the analyzed situation.

I don’t jump into things without thinking.

I think too much sometimes but that’s okay, if I’m wrong I’m wrong.

I’m not scared to admit that I have flaws and make mistakes.

The human population has turned into this competitive melting pot and we are all just melting.

Melting into pools of blood and tears of sadness.

The population kills itself because life is too difficult and complex for us to understand. So we give up.

Some don’t but some do and it’s terrifying.

Terrifying that we literally control ourselves but we can’t control ourselves.

That we choose to make excuses or we can’t grasp the concept of working harder and being better than our examples.

You grew up and believe it or not, what you do as an adult typically mirrors your elders, all of them.

Your parents or caregivers, your teachers, your older peers.

You look around and see things and you like them. Why? Why do you like them?

Is it something beneficial that you are mirroring?

Think deeper and question yourself instead of others.

Think beyond what you were taught and what you see.

Think about who you are when nobody is looking.

Are you happy with yourself? 

-Dear Perception

Rethink your Thoughts 🤐

mental health, Poetry, thoughts

I want to be positive.

I want to calm my mind, quiet it.

Just for a bit.

I want to be peaceful.

I want nothing to affect my soul.

That’s the goal.

I want to be a kind person.

One that is constantly learning.

The desire is burning.

The problem is there’s too much to know.

There’s not enough time for me to divulge,

In endless knowledge, you know?

So day in and day out, I get lost.

Distractions are surrounding us.

Look up.

Absorb your environment.

Connect and thrive in it.

You’re on a time limit.

Do you want to be positive?

Do you want to calm your mind and quiet it?

Just for a bit?

-Dear Perception

Reflection 💭

mental health, Poetry, thoughts

I’m not at my best.

This is hard to confess.

Yet when I look up in the mirror.

I see a fucking broken mess.

There’s things I wish I handled better.

Signs that I should get myself together.

I don’t quite understand the way I operate.

There’s levels inside that I must learn to navigate.

Unlock the triggers that set me off.

The train is wrecking but maybe it could stop.

If I just sit and think of how to calm my mind.

The mechanisms in place don’t work all the time.

They say to breathe in and out and in again.

They say to take a walk, don’t let the demons win.

They don’t deny that the demons lie within.

That’s darkness talking, light must overcome this.

The problem is that darkness there is pretty strong .

He takes the light and makes it seem all wrong.

It’s easy to turn my back when I’m just going along.

Stuck in this zombie stage, can’t get out of it mode.

Is that because I often tend to lose myself.

To try to please the world and save everyone else?

The changes that need to be made start with me.

Make the decision to figure it out and set myself free.

-Dear Perception

Persistence

mental health, Poetry, thoughts

Sometimes my mind’s not right.

So I sit and I write.

With endless thoughts coming out.

Silently but it shouts.

Screaming for change.

Thirsting for anything.

Different.

Seeking but not finding.

Potential is really blinding.

My heart just isn’t in it.

Shut down and abort the mission.

Till the next time.

Should there be a common one to find.

I breathe without thinking.

Same way I operate on a daily living.

Numb.

What have I become?

I’m usually not the one.

To turn down fun.

But now I run.

Shelter in place.

Get out of my face.

I don’t have time to deal with your shit today.

I’m not in the mood.

Yours is killing mine too.

Let’s separate to keep the peace.

Why can’t this be easy?

Strength.

Encouraging it seems to be.

To be the strongest version of me.

Diversions they seem.

To divert the truths.

What’s the use?

When there’s always an excuse?

Persistence.

The drive to avoid the distance.

The time that it takes to conquer and divide.

Is too long so we see some resistance.

Giving up ain’t in my blood.

I’ll bleed out until I’m done.

The reality is that there’s still more.

More to explore.

More to endure.

This can’t be the best version of me.

I continue along the self-realization journey.

I encourage you all to join me.

-Dear Perception

Forever Evolving

Poetry, thoughts
-Dear Perception

I’m forever evolving.

I’m not the same person you met before.

My old persona is dissolving.

I’m becoming someone much stronger.

As the process of becoming me continues.

I realized there’s still so much to learn.

There’s so many other avenues.

Than what I imagined at first.

Simple minds don’t think alike.

My views sure as hell may not match yours.

Raising likes ain’t my goal in life.

I’m not out here trying to be popular.

I have three sets of eyes on me everyday.

Three beautiful spirits, uniquely insane.

I’m teaching them to always find their way.

To be okay with not being okay.

That life isn’t always going to be fair.

The tears will go as quickly as they come.

Play nice, but keep that guard up there.

No need in getting burned, it’s not fun.

Teaching them through my poor mistakes.

The attitude of I know it all.

Haven’t we all gone through that phase.

The reality of being so small.

I’m growing, I’m evolving.

I’m not who you once used to know.

I’m not sure if I know who I’m becoming.

I just know up ahead is a long road!

-Dear Perception

Crucial Conversations 🤭

advice, mental health, Poetry, thoughts

What do they call it when life is stable?

When everything is like those families you see on cable?

Where everything feels “normal” and there’s no interruptions?

The most I have to worry about is waking up in the morning?

Content, at peace, that’s what some would say.

Fortunate, blessed, there are many names.

For the things that I am, but not for what it takes.

To get to this place in the first place.

It’s not about being lucky, it’s not about being fortunate.

It’s about hard work and putting in the effort for it.

It’s about long days and nights, mental health declines.

It’s about understanding it’s another sleepless night.

There’s a lot of breakdowns along the way.

I cry many tears and there’s a lot I have to say.

I speak my mind freely, because I truly don’t mind.

Giving someone a different perspective, being present in time.

I evaluate the world around me, I soak it all in.

Most importantly, I stop and I listen.

I listen before I respond and jump.

I listen before I let my emotions speak up.

I listen to how someone is portraying their body.

I listen to how the words are coming out, loudly or softly?

I’ve learned to listen as I’ve been on this path.

This never-ending train of constant wreck.

I am fortunate enough to earn my way.

Putting in work every single day.

I have a lot of weaknesses I’m figuring out.

I try to find a way to turn them around.

Like why the fuck do I speak so loudly?

And why do I cut so deep when I speak?

Let’s have these conversations with ourselves and one another.

Let’s try to understand a little more about each other.

Don’t be afraid of what others have to say.

Instead embrace the words in your own kind of way.

-Dear Perception

Hey Again, Friend!

anxiety, mental health, Poetry, thoughts

Triggered.

Go figure.

Sound familiar?

What’s the deal here?

The world’s chaotic.

Wish I was bionic

If I want it, then I got it

That’s the type of shit I’m on!

Used to be so small

Trying to survive

in the streets of the hood

I remember those nights

Adapted to life

Never have I been blind

I cut my heart out

one piece at a time

I’m left with holes and my minds not right

I’m tired of these feelings inside.

I either shut them out completely

But That’s never really pleasing

Then I open up again

Forgetting that I bleed easy

Then my head gets to spinning

Then my breathing starts to increase

Then the speed I try to decrease

Before it’s too late and I’m wheezing.

The tears are flowing, my mind’s freezing.

Welcome back,

Anxiety!

-Dear Perception

Speaking of Reality

mental health, Poetry, thoughts

Breathe in and breathe out.

Is that the light?

I was born into this world ready to die.

Where is my mind?

Developing, still just cells.

Who will I become?

Only time will tell.

It’s been years and years

I’ve yet to discover who I am

Other than a case full of anxiety and stress.

Overwhelmed, I’m failing at my own tests.

Chin up, dry those tears,

You are stronger than you appear.

When I was born, I didn’t know there was a future till it became clear.

Life isn’t what you make it but how you take it.

Life is a forever canvas that starts blank.

Fill it up with the experience then wipe it away.

Come back on a rainy day.

When you’re weak as fuck and your emotions can relate.

When you find the courage to demolish the slate.

When you throw it all out, release your mind, you can create.

Life is about interpretation.

A battle of the mind and the soul.

A losing one if you let your mind take control.

There’s a common denominator between yourself and I.

We are all human and we will all die.

Beyond that, we are all just trying to survive.

So tell me why…

Do you think that you’re better than the rest?

When in reality we could all just be friends.

We could help each other out instead of competing.

We could realize that we all need a heart to beat.

We could hold out our hands, tell others we understand.

Let them know that it’s okay.

Let them know it’s normal to break.

Let them know that we’ll help them stand back on their feet.

Instead we kick people when they’re down.

Then pray to god like “why me?”

So you see, it all could be so simple.

Let go of the arrogance and be kind to other people.

-Dear Perception

Slow Demise 💥

anxiety, mental health, thoughts

Sometimes, poetry won’t cut it when you feel like your brain is maxing out.

I’m on the verge of having an anxiety attack.

I recognize the precursors by now.

There’s a tightness in my stomach, my back is aching, my head hurts, I can’t sleep.

Now I’m like a ticking time bomb to nobody but myself.

Waiting for the hyperventilation to start.

Waiting for the tears to fall and not stop.

Waiting for the never ending thoughts to amplify in my head, every negative thing at one time. All of the pain, the struggle, the future, the past, the happiness, all of it merges together and explodes.

In those moments, there’s no control of my emotions.

I don’t like when things are out of control.

I am a problem solver. I find solutions. I don’t make excuses.

In these states of panic, I’m none of those things.

I’m just drained.

I’m tired.

I don’t want to do a damn thing anymore until this stupid attack happens and I can move forward.

However, I have to do the things. Right?

Who else is going to do it?

So my battle begins internally once more.

How much longer until anxiety wins?

-Dear Perception