Influenced Mind

Poetry, thoughts

I let it overpower me.

It was pulling me down like gravity.

Like I couldn’t escape it,

What a tragedy.

Such a sight to see.

The raging me.

I quieted the rage because it was wrong.

I needed to show that I was strong.

That we all make mistakes all along.

But we can fix them if we wanted to belong.

To a society of peace and kindness.

We can’t all lead the blind with our blindness.

We have to be way more open minded.

We have to give our children better mindsets.

But the brain and the mind aren’t on the same page.

One is pulling me in the opposite way.

My actions are running astray.

It’s time to reset, run away!

If only it was all so easy.

Escape to an alternate reality.

Meditation, that’s what provides clarity.

It helps you reset to live in peace.

I guess there’s some turns along this path.

It’s time to get back on the right track.

Find balance within, no looking back.

I only want peace, what’s wrong with that?

Analyze, listen, repeat.

I’m just trying to be a better version of me!

-Dear Perception

My Brain’s Spazzing

anxiety, mental health
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Anyone else ever feel like their brain twitches and spazzes out?

One minute I’m doing one thing then within the next few minutes I’ve jumped to at least five different things before I tell myself, “get it under control!”

I mind slap myself and then I trip out for a second like wow, that was a lot of different things at one time.

It happened today again. I literally felt my mind jump between thoughts and my fingers and hands moved with them, quickly clicking in and out of tabs on my computer, anxiously jotting down notes and rushing through the moment, and then suddenly pausing to figure out what I was supposed to be doing in the first place. It was like I couldn’t control my brain for a minute and because of that, I couldn’t control anything. It was brief, but still long enough for me to start looking into why that happens, because it’s been happening often.

Try to recognize these times.

Self reflection is important during the days where my brain twitches. I like to figure out how I got to that point in the first place and most of the answers lead me back to face my anxiety. Anxiety in a different form, an upbeat anxiety if you want to call it that. An anxiety that isn’t crippling but actually pushing me to finish my shit instead of avoid it or worry about it. I didn’t feel worried, I just felt like I needed to get things done and I wanted to do it! However, it was still anxiety in the sense I couldn’t collect my thoughts enough to focus, so productivity is unfortunately still reduced. Today, I was jittery and anxious. I wanted to do everything at one time because I was motivated and ready to complete all of the things. I felt like I was going to accomplish my entire list of shit to do. In reality, that didn’t happen. The burst of energy was short lived, and I regained my focus and got through the smaller list I created for myself as a goal for that day.

Anyway, google searches lead me to anxiety and bipolar disorder. It wouldn’t surprise me but I’m stronger than a diagnosis and I am emotionally intelligent enough to know what’s happening and how to respond. Plus google lies sometimes so whatever! I definitely think it’s important to try to figure out how to recognize those thoughts in the moment and attempt to identify a way to shape or change them. I’m not sure how exactly but I will tell you that I’m in phase one of recognition and that’s farther than I was before. One step at a time!

To learn more about the brain visit!

-Dear Perception