Don’t Be That Parent 🤷‍♀️

Parenting

Let’s face the reality of parenting today. Let’s talk about how children these days are being raised… it’s a tricky and touchy subject.

This statement alone is true for some. There are parents who are dealing with children with developmental delays, parents who may have adopted children with behavioral issues, parents who try and no matter what, it’s not working, the point is, sometimes it’s not the parent’s fault. On the other hand, my observations have led me believe that some parents have forgotten about teaching children respectful values and manners. Most of us as parents are just trying to give our kids a better life than what we had.

It took me a minute to figure out that just because I grew up differently, with less things than most, it didn’t mean I needed to give my kids everything. My kids live an amazing life but they hear the word no often. They have to earn the things that they want and they damn sure are learning to have respect. Don’t talk back, say yes/no sir/mam, lose the attitude, focus on what they start, speak their minds with respect, and analyze the world around them.

I’m raising future adults. In order to do that, they must have say in life but learn professionalism as well. They must learn compassion and respect. They must learn to be optimistic but realistic at the same time, knowing that life really fucking suck sometimes, but being strong enough to make it better.

At the end of the day, it isn’t about all the shit our kids have, it’s about them being raised with morals and values and to be successful, independent adults. Sometimes our kids will hate us but they’ll get over it. Stand your ground and watch their emotions. Explain your actions to your children and be realistic about life. Don’t get mad at little things that you know won’t matter if they were older. Parenting is hard as fuck but it doesn’t have to be complicated. Figure out what works best for your household and don’t be scared to ask others for advice. No parent ever knew what they were doing, there are failed experiences that we learn from and we can learn from others as well! Keep it up parents everywhere! Your child is watching you! #parentsunite

-Dear Perception

Don’t Get Caught

Uncategorized

I briefly mentioned this in my book, but my dad always gave me this advice. My dad, he’s a trip. I know him, but I don’t. I know certain things about him, but there’s no bond really that I feel. It’s cool I have a dad, I try to keep up with him and offer to help him when needed. He likes to act likes he’s fine. He does drugs too, is an alcoholic. He’s like the most functioning addict I think I know. He works hard still, labor and maintenance work mainly. He is a survivor, but a lonely survivor. It’s kind of sad, but he’s lived that way for so long he’s so used to it. Scared to let anybody get really close. A true black sheep.

My dad always used to pride himself on the illegal shit that he used to do and at the end he used to follow up with, “But I didn’t get caught!”. Anytime I would tell him something, that was probably a wrong decision, he would be like, “But did you get caught!”.

My dad taught me plenty of things, in the same manner that my mom did. I learned through his mistakes. I also learned to keep the house clean, stay busy always. He doesn’t rest. Doesn’t know how. That is definitely passed down to me.

If I would say his parenting advice never helped me I would be a huge liar. The truth is, I’ve done my fair share of bad things in life. I’ve learned and regretted some of them. All in all, I took away the fact that I tried really hard to not get caught. Strategizing is a big skill of mine these days.

In all my life, I think I have gotten caught twice. Once when I was 6 or 7, hanging out with my 15 year old sister, the police were called on us because we “stole” candy and stuff but in reality the food stamp card got denied and we didn’t know that was going to happen. We would all just take turns on each of our parent’s food stamps card and take care of the neighborhood kids. We were a little pack that ran the streets. It wasn’t my sister’s turn that time, we trusted the people we were with, but we walked out of the store with our snacks while they stayed behind to pay and before I knew it, I was hiding under a table in the corner store waiting for the cops to get there. I was terrified. The lady copy told me to get out from under the table and sat down next to me while they dug through the dumpster to recover some candy. The guy we were with told him he threw it in there, but he really ate it. He was detained that day, I watched him laugh as they put him in the back of the cop car. He was the oldest, so naturally they had to take someone in for “stealing”. They let my sister walk me home.

The second time, I stole from a friend in middle school. Took money from her purse while she went to the RR, too many people saw, I thought I was being cool. Someone snitched, I paid the girl back and admitted my faults. I did feel embarrassed about that one. That was supposed to be my friend and I let her down.

The point is, “Don’t get caught” taught me to think smart. Think ahead. If I wanted to “sneak out” how could I do that being smart. This also led me to just not lie about it. If I don’t lie, I won’t get caught because there is nothing to catch.

So now, I’m a super honest person, blunt as can be, and I don’t have to worry about being caught because I’m not doing anything wrong and there’s nothing to lie about. People deserve honesty and that is what I will always give off, whether or not the truth hurts, I think you deserve the truth!

-Dear Perception