Don’t Be That Parent 🤷‍♀️

Parenting

Let’s face the reality of parenting today. Let’s talk about how children these days are being raised… it’s a tricky and touchy subject.

This statement alone is true for some. There are parents who are dealing with children with developmental delays, parents who may have adopted children with behavioral issues, parents who try and no matter what, it’s not working, the point is, sometimes it’s not the parent’s fault. On the other hand, my observations have led me believe that some parents have forgotten about teaching children respectful values and manners. Most of us as parents are just trying to give our kids a better life than what we had.

It took me a minute to figure out that just because I grew up differently, with less things than most, it didn’t mean I needed to give my kids everything. My kids live an amazing life but they hear the word no often. They have to earn the things that they want and they damn sure are learning to have respect. Don’t talk back, say yes/no sir/mam, lose the attitude, focus on what they start, speak their minds with respect, and analyze the world around them.

I’m raising future adults. In order to do that, they must have say in life but learn professionalism as well. They must learn compassion and respect. They must learn to be optimistic but realistic at the same time, knowing that life really fucking suck sometimes, but being strong enough to make it better.

At the end of the day, it isn’t about all the shit our kids have, it’s about them being raised with morals and values and to be successful, independent adults. Sometimes our kids will hate us but they’ll get over it. Stand your ground and watch their emotions. Explain your actions to your children and be realistic about life. Don’t get mad at little things that you know won’t matter if they were older. Parenting is hard as fuck but it doesn’t have to be complicated. Figure out what works best for your household and don’t be scared to ask others for advice. No parent ever knew what they were doing, there are failed experiences that we learn from and we can learn from others as well! Keep it up parents everywhere! Your child is watching you! #parentsunite

-Dear Perception

Cry if you need to cry!

Uncategorized

My mother, Rest In Peace, wasn’t really around much when I was younger. She was there, but she was in her own twisted world. She suffered from a ton of issues that went undiagnosed. Drug addiction was one of the hardest battles she fought until cancer showed up. Ultimately, I loved my mom but it wasn’t a tight bond. I didn’t learn much from her other than what not to do. Don’t do drugs in front of my kids. Don’t do drugs maybe? Don’t sleep with multiple men and drag the kids along with you to live in different shitty places. Get my shit together and provide a better life for my children. However, when I think of my mom, I also recognize now that she wasn’t okay. She struggled and most of the time, she tried to stay strong for us. However, her strongest was barely keeping us alive.

As I’ve gotten older, I struggle with my own demons, as I truly feel we all do. Panic attacks have began and I never really reached that stage before. Recently, a memory trickled back into my mind. There was a time when I lived with my grandmother. My mom wasn’t around, she showed up randomly, sometimes beat up by her latest boyfriend, she’d show us some love, maybe bring us something and disappear again for a few months. She would call sometimes too.

It was during a phone conversation with her when I was in the kindergarten maybe first grade, I remember her getting on to me about my behavior with my grandma. I started having tantrums really bad, kicking walls, slamming doors, crying and being angry at life I guess. The rules my grandmother had were so strict compared to my mom who let us do whatever we wanted. So I struggled adapting. I told her sometimes I just need to cry and I don’t know why. She told me those exact words, “Cry if you need to cry!”. I talked a lot about the negative shit my mom put us through. Those five words, in my entire life, were what has helped me the most from her. I understand them to the fullest now.

Sometimes, I literally feel like my brain is too full. Like I can go for months and then it’s like a switch turns on the overload/panic button and I need to cry. I fight it, because I hate crying, I feel weak and vulnerable when I cry. In reality, it’s all I need to do. I just need to cry sometimes, get through that, and I feel so much better. I found an article about it, because I got curious as to why I religiously feel better after I cry. Apparently, it’s a real thing that can help you according to PsychologyToday!

Therefore,

Cry if you need to cry!

-Dear Perception