Never ending Days

advice, anxiety, thoughts

Right now the days feel like they fly by.

But that won’t last forever.

There’s so much to do with so little time.

Time we all borrow together.

As history continues to repeat.

We will only remain a generation.

One of the many, many families.

Passing blood down to the next of kin.

We are born here to repopulate and die.

Like the rest of the animals around us.

Is your purpose greater than mine?

I don’t think I’m one to judge.

Day by day and night by night.

Sun up to sun down, moonrise.

My thoughts quickly consume my mind.

I can no longer hold them inside.

My life is on a continuous track.

My joy slowly depleting.

I have to try to get myself back.

Find the me I used to be.

Be that mom with patience.

Be the woman with pride.

Be the young girl who was fearless

Be the one who wants to strive.

Right now my days are never ending.

They blend together so well.

Right now, I need to stop being an enemy.

Especially to myself.

-Dear Perception

Be Grateful Today

advice, Poetry, thoughts
https://www.angelagayehorn.com/gratitude-happiness/

Be grateful today.

So many people are withering away.

Be grateful today.

You got the chance for a fresh slate.

Be grateful today.

Make sure you say what you have to say.

Be grateful today.

Think about what you have on your plate.

Be grateful today.

There’s no promise for a new day to create.

Be grateful today

You have your energy, protect it, be brave.

Be grateful today.

Put your happiness on full display.

Be grateful today.

Think about all of the good things.

Be grateful today.

Don’t let your intentions intentionally be mean.

Be grateful today.

Let’s try to be a little more understanding.

Be grateful today.

I know you’re reading but are you listening?

Just be grateful today!

-Dear Perception

Everything is Always Fine ❤️

advice, anxiety, depression, mental health, Poetry, thoughts

It’s creeping up, I’m trying to run.

Will I escape, I’m tired of these games.

I don’t know my fate, my mind goes insane.

The wires are crossed and I’m feeling rage.

It’s mixed with fear, it’s mixed with grief.

It’s mixed with the trauma that’s buried deep.

I preach and I preach.

But do I practice what I mean.

Can I do all of these things?

Can I do these things myself?

Can I listen to my own help?

Probably not.

But if I don’t try to help others.

Do I ignore them instead?

I’m good at this!

I try to help others think about things like me.

I try to help them identify their problems you see?

I can offer up solutions that come out quite easy.

Then I can go home and act blind and turn my cheek.

Just stay busy.

Stick to the plan.

Time and time again.

But I’m getting kinda tired

If I can be a little honest.

I’m not sure I want to do this.

-Shut up depression.

Let me get back to it.

All I need is some music.

A little time outside.

A little time to clear my thoughts.

Everything is always fine. ❤️

-Dear Perception

Depression is Fierce

depression, mental health, Poetry, thoughts

I’m starting to think that I wasn’t as content as I thought I was originally.

My mind is clearing up and I can see everything vividly.

I once thought I knew the key to happiness, just stop caring.

Depression almost had me, that was kind of scary.

Not to say it won’t show up again.

I may follow it to play.

Not intentionally of course.

But depression runs a pretty smooth game.

I was sinking, my head was full, my heart was heavy.

Things I used to do didn’t catch my interest, I thought it was part of my journey, wings spreading.

I was mistaken once again, I’m so glad I’m snapping back.

I lost my sister three years ago, my grandma two years ago, and my mom after that.

I’m no longer sad. Well maybe a little.

I miss my sister a lot, it’s inevitable.

She was my rock, my constant, right there with my brother.

Now it’s just two of us, getting stronger together.

You didn’t want me to be sad, mad, or be dragging my feet everyday.

If you were here today I don’t want to imagine what you would say.

I’ll find myself again, I promise real soon.

It’s been three years sis, this is long overdue!

-Dear Perception

Refocused .💭. Thoughts

anxiety, Poetry, thoughts

Focus on not focusing.

Clear your head.

Deep breathing.

But don’t think about the breath.

Excuse me? Come again!

That shit seems impossible.

Undesirable.

My mind is blown.

You’re telling me,

you can do these things?

Stop your thoughts,

tranquilize your own mind?

My mind filled up with songs.

These thoughts won’t leave no matter how hard I try!

I know you’re not supposed to try though.

You’re supposed to relax.

Kick back.

Don’t think about the past!

Fuck that.

These continuous thoughts won’t stop unless I move.

Stay busy and refocused, then those thoughts go too.

Meditation may be something I don’t know how to do.

I’ve spent my whole life finding ways to drown out the noise in my head.

Pick up a book and read instead.

Overstimulated.

Then I write.

Take the thoughts out of my mind.

Stopping them? That will never be.

I’ll keep finding ways that work for me!

-Dear Perception

🌩 Before the Storm ⛈

anxiety, depression, mental health, Poetry, thoughts

My head is filling up again

With tasks and priorities

Will it pop, how will this end?

I don’t think I’m ready.

I’m not ready to be angry.

I’m not ready to feel weak.

I’m not ready for virtual learning.

I’m not ready for a damn thing.

I want to stay in the moment.

The moment before shit hits the fan.

The moment before I lose my cool.

The moment before I fuck up again.

Can I depress before I explode?

That’s an answer that I don’t know!

It’s day by day, night by night.

How long will my brain try to fight?

Stay tuned till the next time.

Fingers crossed this all ends right!

-Dear Perception

*CW: Fucked Upness

anxiety, black lives matter, Poetry, racism, Social Injustice, thoughts, trigger warning
Vectorstock.com

I used to think life was hard.

Until I became more aware.

I started looking around me

And I started to care.

Everyone I see

Is living with anxiety

Because that’s the way society

Would really like for us to be.

Fearful and scared.

Quivering in the corner.

Slap on your mask.

That’s governor’s orders.

Scroll through your newsfeed

In reality it’s all the same

Scroll by mindlessly.

Pandemic talk, did you hear? There’s a new plague

But wait….

What about Epstein?

Have you seen the latest news?

Sex trafficking is real.

The suspects look like me and you.

They may have money, what the fuck?

It may be the one you never thought would be the one.

Fucked upness doesn’t stop there.

Racism is alive and living ain’t fair.

The economy is crashing.

But let’s focus on the kids.

School is almost back in session.

Virtual or classroom, take a pick.

Another wave of stimulus checks.

Yay, that’ll pay another month’s rent.

But then… what’s next?

Landlords starting to evict.

Streets are crowding, filling up quick.

Where do people go now when they get sick?

Hospitals are full, fingers crossed you make it.

This is it?

This is life?

Black lives matter.

Wash your hands. 20 seconds no less.

Wear your mask.

Back the blue .

Help the needy. Do what you can do.

Save the kids.

Fuck Cancer.

Vaccines, abortions.

This is not another trend.

This is it?

This is life?

Do your best.

Survive.

*Note: I hope everyone is doing okay and I really hope this poem doesn’t affect you. It’s real life and if you’re going through any of this I wish there was a way to help. If anyone needs help I can share and publicize fundraisers and what not. I’m hoping for better days soon! Stay strong. We’re in the together! 💪

#Woke ✌️

black lives matter, Poetry, Social Injustice, thoughts

They say time  just never slows down 

But in my mind, time’s a concept unfound 

I look around and stare down 

When did I get this high, what now 

Humble me, humble as can be 

I take pride in everything that I lead 

I take pride in everything that I can be 

I take the high road but that really ain’t me 

See we can be enemies 

But you’ll be fighting with yourself, I’m sorry 

I don’t got time to waste my fucking energy 

With people who just ain’t fucking with me 

Bitch please 

You see , I’ve turned shit around 

I’ve crawled up, risen up from the ground 

I don’t believe in Adam or Eve 

But I believe in the shit that I can see 

And clearly, it’s clear to me 

That people ain’t what they pretend to be 

I smile and pretend that I can’t see 

You smile to pretend your happy 

We are not, not the same 

I don’t like playing stupid games 

I’ll compete just to say I fucking slayed 

I should say I have a very sharp blade 

This land of ours, the land of the free

It’s a mirage and I was blind as could be 

We live in modern slavery 

Where the rich has built the law to fit their society 

But you’re not ready, for these things I speak 

Open your eyes, don’t be a sheep 

Question everything that you read 

Live your life educated and truly free. 

-Dear Perception

This was written to the beat “Selfish” which can be found HERE along with other beats.

Take time to write some music today!

Choose to Stay

advice, anxiety, depression, mental health, Poetry, thoughts

Thoughts racing, hearts pacing

Heads rushing, I’m not too trusting

This life game is forever changing

I love challenges so I keep playing

Crippling anxiety

As long as my heart is thriving

Beating and alive see

I will live my life gee

Don’t talk about sobriety

Come and sit by me

Enlighten me

Tell me about your life please

So I can escape mine please

Let me give advice

Let me in your mind

I want to see how you think

I want to help you start to achieve

Your true potential, so exponential

The things you can do when you get your mind together

We on borrowed time and we slowly wither

Just be happy and be free

Keep your same energy

No matter what comes your way

I hope you choose to stay!

These are some thoughts of the day!

-Dear Perception

*CW: The Inevitable

advice, anxiety, depression, mental health, thoughts, trigger warning

My brain is doing the thing again, playing defense. Not allowing the emotions to creep into my mind because I’ve cried enough. It’s time to step the fuck up now.

My dad is dying and there’s nothing I can do about it. COVID won’t even allow him to have any visitors so he has to go through everything alone. His words today were, “I just don’t want to die in the hospital.”

I’ve lost my sister and my mom to cancer so this isn’t my first trip with this monster. However, this time is different. This time, I can’t support my dad through this. I can only help from a distance.

With that being said, my wall goes up. I’ve accepted fate, I have to deal with it, there’s nothing I can do and I must move on in life.

So I continue to work, parent, and pretend that there is nothing wrong.


This post was started a couple of weeks ago, I never finished because obviously the emotions rise up and I’m currently in the process of shutting them down.

However, I’m trying again, to acknowledge the fact that I’m going to be sad. My dad is not sounding too good via text anyway. He doesn’t want to talk on the phone. The signs are flashing in my face and I’m nervous as hell.

Is that the Grim Reaper appearing for the fifth time? Another victim of cancer to join the other souls who are battling COVID and cancer, and all sorts of other fatal illness. Not to mention for the people who die suddenly, when people aren’t even ready, by the hands of others sometimes.

Either way, death is sad AF for the people who are left behind to grieve.

So here’s a poem to release my current thoughts.


The room is black, but my eyes are open.

The light seems to be distant.

My heart is starting to fill its tank.

Preparing for the battle of what’s consistent.

The inevitable, the end of our time.

The time when we take our last breath.

Close your eyes now, truth be told.

It’s time to finally rest.

This life is hell, this life ruthless.

This life can end so soon.

This life is completely what you make it.

Until for you, there’s no more room.

This is dark.

I’m aware.

Let’s be fair.

Death isn’t bright.

Fuck all diseases, cancer, and COVID.

Fuck all the people who took other’s lives.

I’m terrified, I won’t be shy.

I’m scared as fuck to die.

My kids are young, they need me here.

But I don’t get to choose my time.


In summary, value your loved ones. Value those relationships you hold close with others. Accept what you can and can’t control. Death is coming either way, whether you or anybody else is ready and this is a touchy topic I’m aware. It makes me sad as fuck to talk about this. I would like to talk about it anyway, because it’s hard to process the inevitable sometimes. It helps me process that it’s real when I talk and write about it. Even though I’ve lost plenty of people, this is still a very hard topic for me and the underlying foundation of my anxiety. I’m not ready to die. So I’m at least leaving this behind in the event anything happens, but also videos and pictures. Videos are more important. If you’ve never lost someone close, take more videos. Get their voice, their laughs, everything. That is the closest thing you will have to them and I regret that I didn’t do that for my sister. I miss her the most and don’t have any videos of her really. I’m doing better with creating lasting memories of the loved ones that I have left. Cherish your time people!

-Dear Perception