I open the page to write.
To release what’s on my mind.
Then I stare at the blank screen.
All of a sudden I can’t type.
My mind is drained.
I lose focus immediately.
There’s too much in my brain.
I need to refocus my inner chi.
Sometimes there’s not enough time.
At times, there’s not enough desire.
Sometimes I choose to close my eyes.
I like to stay blind to the public’s sight.
Sometimes it’s really me not you.
Sometimes, I don’t know what to do.
Sometimes I wanna pull my hair,
Scream till my lungs run out of air.
I understand if you can’t understand.
You’d have to go through all my past plans.
You’d have to see the things I’ve seen.
You’d have to live and act like me.
Dive into an alter reality.
One that’s a beautiful place to be.
Be prepared to endlessly seek.
For the first sign that the end is beginning.
Knowing that it’ll never be found.
Knowing that the end is still the ground.
Knowing that there’s no mission or purpose.
Knowing what we leave behind may all be worthless.
The truth is what we fear.
We escape and avoid our tears.
We seek out drugs to suppress our emotions.
Which clouds our judgment and steers our focus.
Yet we’re the same people who believe in being mindful.
We’re trying to change the world to an upward spiral.
We like to thrive on living life in the present.
But I look up and everyone’s offended.
I look around and my hopes fall down.
Because nobody is happy unless someone else drowns.
Because everyone is just trying to survive.
In a place where people are not supposed to get by.
In a place where freedom is taken for granted.
All the power in the world couldn’t make us champions.
Because humans are a species.
With brains and a body, such simplicity.
We blame everything on something else and reassure ourselves,
We like less work, more play, but can’t find a balance between the days.
We have the tools at our hands, but still choose to do things the hard way.
We’re driven by the wrong motives.
We don’t think deeper than what people told us.
We overlook things because we’re in a rush.
To get somewhere that covers all of the truth up.
Emotions are loud.
Your brain is real powerful.
Manipulated by variables beyond our control.
Unless you sit there to take the time to know.
You’ll never truly understand the way our bodies flow.
I wonder how much I can take in before I have to tap out.
As of now,
these are just things that I think about.