Blank Canvas.

Poetry, thoughts

I open the page to write.

To release what’s on my mind.

Then I stare at the blank screen.

All of a sudden I can’t type.

My mind is drained.

I lose focus immediately.

There’s too much in my brain.

I need to refocus my inner chi.

Sometimes there’s not enough time.

At times, there’s not enough desire.

Sometimes I choose to close my eyes.

I like to stay blind to the public’s sight.

Sometimes it’s really me not you.

Sometimes, I don’t know what to do.

Sometimes I wanna pull my hair,

Scream till my lungs run out of air.

I understand if you can’t understand.

You’d have to go through all my past plans.

You’d have to see the things I’ve seen.

You’d have to live and act like me.

Dive into an alter reality.

One that’s a beautiful place to be.

Be prepared to endlessly seek.

For the first sign that the end is beginning.

Knowing that it’ll never be found.

Knowing that the end is still the ground.

Knowing that there’s no mission or purpose.

Knowing what we leave behind may all be worthless.

The truth is what we fear.

We escape and avoid our tears.

We seek out drugs to suppress our emotions.

Which clouds our judgment and steers our focus.

Yet we’re the same people who believe in being mindful.

We’re trying to change the world to an upward spiral.

We like to thrive on living life in the present.

But I look up and everyone’s offended.

I look around and my hopes fall down.

Because nobody is happy unless someone else drowns.

Because everyone is just trying to survive.

In a place where people are not supposed to get by.

In a place where freedom is taken for granted.

All the power in the world couldn’t make us champions.

Because humans are a species.

With brains and a body, such simplicity.

We blame everything on something else and reassure ourselves,

I’m guilty.

We like less work, more play, but can’t find a balance between the days.

We have the tools at our hands, but still choose to do things the hard way.

We’re driven by the wrong motives.

We don’t think deeper than what people told us.

We overlook things because we’re in a rush.

To get somewhere that covers all of the truth up.

Emotions are loud.

Your brain is real powerful.

Manipulated by variables beyond our control.

Unless you sit there to take the time to know.

You’ll never truly understand the way our bodies flow.

I wonder how much I can take in before I have to tap out.

As of now,

these are just things that I think about.

Rebuild the Ruins

Poetry, thoughts

What can I say?

My mind goes insane.

Manipulation of the brain.

I need to watch what I say.

I need to stop before I speak.

I need to listen to what I preach.

It’s a dangerous war, I can’t claim defeat.

I got a lot of people who are looking at me.

And I never say it but I might say it now.

It’s all piling up and I’m falling down.

Some days I feel high up and other days I drown.

Some days I can conquer, but I’m not right now.

If we could all be honest, without judgement.

I could speak up just a little more on it.

I could try to help everyone overcome it.

I could lay it all out for the public.

That I’m learning to accept myself.

That I’m learning to forgive myself.

I’m learning things that I thought were too complex for myself.

It’s hard but I want to be a better human.

I will successfully rebuild the ruins.

We can all be okay if we really want to change.

If we’re truly honest instead of loyal to the game.

Who do you see inside your eyes,

when you lay down at night?

When there’s nobody around,

what makes your heart feel light?

It’s okay if you don’t know the answers to these questions.

I’m finding out we’re all just taking chances and making guesses.

There’s not really a manuscript to end up where we are destined.

Lead by our thoughts and decisions taught by our ancestors.

I hear them telling me to remember that I can always do better.

Dear Perception

Wandering Mind 🧠

advice, Poetry, thoughts

Learn about me.

Learn with me.

Learn.

Either way, do it with a fire that burns.

Burn it into your brain.

The knowledge is yours to regain.

Asks questions along the way.

Question everything you hear, see, and say.

Question all of our society.

It’s a puzzling reality that people refuse to change.

And when you ask these questions, question yourself.

Are you contributing or are you detrimental?

Do you truly care or just crave attention?

Is what you’re doing really worth a mention?

Have you thought beyond your current situation?

Who’s really looking out for you and me, besides ourselves?

Everyone has some kind of sad story to tell.

I’m not belittling your tale.

I’m just saying we either win or we fail.

We either work or cry and complain.

Or there’s room to do both, just don’t lose your aim.

What do you want from life?

Be honest, it’s time.

Is your current life aligned with your future goals?

Are you living in the present moment while you go?

There’s always so many things to consider and think about.

Really, how do you feel, because that should count!

Listen to your emotions.

They usually talk pretty loud!

-Dear Perception

Meet Those Deadlines ✍️

advice, Parenting

Today, I scheduled a meeting with my kid.

I planned it ahead of time.

I told her 4pm, we can do something together.

And you know what happened?

At 4pm, maybe a few minutes late in true fashion, I played a game with her.

You know what’s super fucking sad?

I scheduled a meeting with my kid!

I treated her like a job, and oh snap I paid even more attention to her.

I had a picnic this evening as well on a blanket, in the kitchen.

All three girls and myself, just hanging out having a random ass picnic put together by my four year old.

Today, I also played babies with my 4 year old, unscheduled.

Why?

Because I realized if I treated my children the way I treat my job, I would pay more attention.

I would stop postponing these memories.

Before I know it, they are lost in their own “teenage” world when in reality, did we push them there?

Our jobs are important, and these children are our jobs!

Our lifelong job.

We are replaceable at work.

We are not replaceable in our children’s hearts.

As my children sleep, I advise you all to disconnect, and meet those deadlines.

Your child’s future depends on it!

-Dear Perception

Rethink your Thoughts 🤐

mental health, Poetry, thoughts

I want to be positive.

I want to calm my mind, quiet it.

Just for a bit.

I want to be peaceful.

I want nothing to affect my soul.

That’s the goal.

I want to be a kind person.

One that is constantly learning.

The desire is burning.

The problem is there’s too much to know.

There’s not enough time for me to divulge,

In endless knowledge, you know?

So day in and day out, I get lost.

Distractions are surrounding us.

Look up.

Absorb your environment.

Connect and thrive in it.

You’re on a time limit.

Do you want to be positive?

Do you want to calm your mind and quiet it?

Just for a bit?

-Dear Perception

Reflection 💭

mental health, Poetry, thoughts

I’m not at my best.

This is hard to confess.

Yet when I look up in the mirror.

I see a fucking broken mess.

There’s things I wish I handled better.

Signs that I should get myself together.

I don’t quite understand the way I operate.

There’s levels inside that I must learn to navigate.

Unlock the triggers that set me off.

The train is wrecking but maybe it could stop.

If I just sit and think of how to calm my mind.

The mechanisms in place don’t work all the time.

They say to breathe in and out and in again.

They say to take a walk, don’t let the demons win.

They don’t deny that the demons lie within.

That’s darkness talking, light must overcome this.

The problem is that darkness there is pretty strong .

He takes the light and makes it seem all wrong.

It’s easy to turn my back when I’m just going along.

Stuck in this zombie stage, can’t get out of it mode.

Is that because I often tend to lose myself.

To try to please the world and save everyone else?

The changes that need to be made start with me.

Make the decision to figure it out and set myself free.

-Dear Perception

Speaking of Reality

mental health, Poetry, thoughts

Breathe in and breathe out.

Is that the light?

I was born into this world ready to die.

Where is my mind?

Developing, still just cells.

Who will I become?

Only time will tell.

It’s been years and years

I’ve yet to discover who I am

Other than a case full of anxiety and stress.

Overwhelmed, I’m failing at my own tests.

Chin up, dry those tears,

You are stronger than you appear.

When I was born, I didn’t know there was a future till it became clear.

Life isn’t what you make it but how you take it.

Life is a forever canvas that starts blank.

Fill it up with the experience then wipe it away.

Come back on a rainy day.

When you’re weak as fuck and your emotions can relate.

When you find the courage to demolish the slate.

When you throw it all out, release your mind, you can create.

Life is about interpretation.

A battle of the mind and the soul.

A losing one if you let your mind take control.

There’s a common denominator between yourself and I.

We are all human and we will all die.

Beyond that, we are all just trying to survive.

So tell me why…

Do you think that you’re better than the rest?

When in reality we could all just be friends.

We could help each other out instead of competing.

We could realize that we all need a heart to beat.

We could hold out our hands, tell others we understand.

Let them know that it’s okay.

Let them know it’s normal to break.

Let them know that we’ll help them stand back on their feet.

Instead we kick people when they’re down.

Then pray to god like “why me?”

So you see, it all could be so simple.

Let go of the arrogance and be kind to other people.

-Dear Perception

Anxiety Nights

anxiety, depression, mental health, Poetry, thoughts

Tonight’s one of those nights,

Where things creep into my mind.

Staring blankly at the black screen under my closed eyes.

The vibe just isn’t right.

My heart keeps jolting inside.

Searching for answers I can’t find.

So I sit and take in the silence.

But…

The questions never end.

It’s all starting to blend.

Why that and why this.

I’m so tired of this shit.

I don’t even know how to react sometimes.

I think about giving this life back sometimes.

I truly wish, that I wouldn’t slack sometimes.

Anxiety, is fucking wack sometimes.

You gotta be, a lot stronger than your mind.

Intelligence is built from a real small line.

Open up, to other perspectives.

Stop arguing, shut up, and listen!

-Dear Perception

Be the Person You Need

advice, Poetry, thoughts

It’s easy to get wrapped up emotions.

It really gets you going.

Rage is exploding.

It’s difficult to settle your mind.

Tell it to chill out one more time.

Understand positive and negative vibes.

Protect your energy.

Be who you need someone to be.

Remind yourself daily.

Be kind, be at peace.

Someone needs help, pick them up.

Who cares if that homeless person needs a buck.

You have a car, food, a home.

Lend him one or five, remember your morals.

Remember that you need someone.

Remember sometimes we ain’t tough.

We suffer in silence and figure shit out.

Why don’t you be there for someone else?

Be the someone you need.

The someone that lends an ear till it’s bleeds.

The someone who’s not selfish but humble.

Understand we’re all surviving in this jungle.

Be selfless, expect nothing in return.

Sometimes be giving, teach a lesson to be learned.

Earth is not our final resting place and it’s never been.

So make your mark while you’re here and you can!

-Dear Perception

No Escape

anxiety, depression, mental health, Poetry, thoughts
Photo cred: Mat Reding

They say that we all live to die.

My question is why?

Why do we build up this life?

When in the end we say bye?

Does our life serve a purpose?

Have we created fictional versions

Of what life is supposed to be

Making it a harder excursion.

We give and we take

Some take more than others

Some give more away

Some do things for cover.

Make themselves feel better.

Smile on their face, camera rolling.

The video will break records.

Social media has become so controlling.

Open your eyes.

Be a silent observer.

Take in other’s mind.

Learn to do better!

In the end we all die.

That’s not a lie. I must say.

Your grave will be no bigger than mine.

In the end, there’s no escape!

-Dear Perception