Remember Who You Are

advice, anxiety, depression, mental health, thoughts

I created this blog and site as an outlet for people. A way for people to express themselves, find resources, get away from their normal programming for a little bit. However I also created this blog because of the person I am and what I need. I also need to express myself from time to time and this will be one of those times where none of my thoughts are pre-written, I’m just typing as I go.

Many of you don’t know a thing about me other than what I’ve written thus far. I wanted to give you an opportunity to learn more. I think it’s important that we know the stories behind the people we follow and talk with.

Everyone has a story to tell!

In a summarized version, I’ve experienced a lot of abuse and trauma throughout my life but this will be the first time you hear me refer to it as such.

I’ve never been a victim. I’ve never asked for sympathy or pity. I’ve made life changes to make sure that what I’ve experienced in my life won’t happen again.

In the process, I’ve gotten away from myself as a person slightly.

As we all grow and figure out the person we want to be, I’ve been adapting to different environments and making myself the person that fits the environment. I’ve done this my entire life. I’ve had to adapt to blend if I wants to survive so now it’s literally impossible for me not to do that. It’s a handy trick at times, but not one that I’m fond of all of the time.

In doing so, I question at times if I know who I really am?

Then I hear my mom’s voice in the back of my head,

Remember who you are!

-My mom

It sounds so cliche but it’s solid advice. My mom was one fucked up person. However, she was that fucked up person EVERYWHERE. She was herself and she would never let me not be myself.

I used to be a fighter. Physically. I would fight anyone on sight. If someone’s talking shit, here I go to talk to them about it and call them out. The mantra was I couldn’t come home if I lost. I know I can’t be the only one who’s been told this… so if you have, let me know how your parents worded it!

Anyway, that’s not me anymore. Don’t get me wrong I’ll fight if I absolutely have to but I’m avoiding situations that will put me in those positions. I feel weak at times and my headspace is all weird. I have panic attacks now, like wtf! I hate them so fkn much but I get myself through them the whole time telling myself to get a grip. To stop being a little bitch. Why? That’s my mom in my head.

Being weak was never an option around a woman who seemed so strong!

So today I remember that even though my mom is no longer here, I must remember where I come from. Anxiety, depression, those are merely labels. I can live with them and still be absolutely successful because that’s who I am!

I am a leader.

I am fierce.

I am strong.

I am wise.

I am brave.

I am compassionate.

I am outspoken!

I am me!

#Challenge Accepted

**Note: A friend on Facebook sent me this challenge, so I wanted to honor it and spread the love. The challenge is to empower women and encouraging solidarity. I empower everyone so guys, girls, empower each other!

-Dear Perception

This is not a Competition

advice, thoughts

Let’s be real. You compare yourself to others. Even if it’s over something small, you’ve done this in your life. Who hasn’t?

The real question is why do we do that?

Why do we look at what everyone else has?

Why are we in a competition with people around us? Some people we don’t even know like celebrities. Comparing our bodies to theirs or our vacations and lifestyles thinking that the way they live are goals. That’s false!

Why do I have to prove myself more than my colleague for a position?

Why do people want to have such big houses and fancy things?

Any answers?

I don’t have any either.

It’s just mind-blowing how much we all try to be in competition with each other. Society has also governed us to be this way, by making everything in our life a competition. Take credit for example. We ask others, “What’s your credit score?” to compare ours to theirs. Houses, “How many square feet?”… now why the hell does that matter to anybody? I don’t know, but it’s a question that’s been asked and the only thing I can think of is the comparison that is happening.

Maybe that’s the answer? Maybe the answer is because American Society thrives on competition. Sports is a huge example. People have been BEATEN in parking lots over their team winning or losing. Wtf people? Is it really that serious? These sports players don’t even know you exist and you’re beating people on the foundation of loyalty? That’s odd.

Maybe that’s not the answer. Maybe humans are just naturally competitive. Maybe it’s a natural instinct? One that we are born with. Natural predators that feed off of adrenaline and competing with others can definitely feel like a rush sometimes. It’s the motivation to do better.

Regardless of why it happens, start to understand that it happens. Start to notice when it happens. Start to change your way of thinking when it happens.

It comes back to appreciating yourself. Do things for yourself and your family, the ones you love. This life isn’t a competition because in the end we all fucking lose. So do what makes you happy and compete with no one.

I set my own standards and they are not based on any other person around me but my children. That’s facts.

-Dear Perception