Persistence

mental health, Poetry, thoughts

Sometimes my mind’s not right.

So I sit and I write.

With endless thoughts coming out.

Silently but it shouts.

Screaming for change.

Thirsting for anything.

Different.

Seeking but not finding.

Potential is really blinding.

My heart just isn’t in it.

Shut down and abort the mission.

Till the next time.

Should there be a common one to find.

I breathe without thinking.

Same way I operate on a daily living.

Numb.

What have I become?

I’m usually not the one.

To turn down fun.

But now I run.

Shelter in place.

Get out of my face.

I don’t have time to deal with your shit today.

I’m not in the mood.

Yours is killing mine too.

Let’s separate to keep the peace.

Why can’t this be easy?

Strength.

Encouraging it seems to be.

To be the strongest version of me.

Diversions they seem.

To divert the truths.

What’s the use?

When there’s always an excuse?

Persistence.

The drive to avoid the distance.

The time that it takes to conquer and divide.

Is too long so we see some resistance.

Giving up ain’t in my blood.

I’ll bleed out until I’m done.

The reality is that there’s still more.

More to explore.

More to endure.

This can’t be the best version of me.

I continue along the self-realization journey.

I encourage you all to join me.

-Dear Perception

Forever Evolving

Poetry, thoughts
-Dear Perception

I’m forever evolving.

I’m not the same person you met before.

My old persona is dissolving.

I’m becoming someone much stronger.

As the process of becoming me continues.

I realized there’s still so much to learn.

There’s so many other avenues.

Than what I imagined at first.

Simple minds don’t think alike.

My views sure as hell may not match yours.

Raising likes ain’t my goal in life.

I’m not out here trying to be popular.

I have three sets of eyes on me everyday.

Three beautiful spirits, uniquely insane.

I’m teaching them to always find their way.

To be okay with not being okay.

That life isn’t always going to be fair.

The tears will go as quickly as they come.

Play nice, but keep that guard up there.

No need in getting burned, it’s not fun.

Teaching them through my poor mistakes.

The attitude of I know it all.

Haven’t we all gone through that phase.

The reality of being so small.

I’m growing, I’m evolving.

I’m not who you once used to know.

I’m not sure if I know who I’m becoming.

I just know up ahead is a long road!

-Dear Perception

Crucial Conversations 🤭

advice, mental health, Poetry, thoughts

What do they call it when life is stable?

When everything is like those families you see on cable?

Where everything feels “normal” and there’s no interruptions?

The most I have to worry about is waking up in the morning?

Content, at peace, that’s what some would say.

Fortunate, blessed, there are many names.

For the things that I am, but not for what it takes.

To get to this place in the first place.

It’s not about being lucky, it’s not about being fortunate.

It’s about hard work and putting in the effort for it.

It’s about long days and nights, mental health declines.

It’s about understanding it’s another sleepless night.

There’s a lot of breakdowns along the way.

I cry many tears and there’s a lot I have to say.

I speak my mind freely, because I truly don’t mind.

Giving someone a different perspective, being present in time.

I evaluate the world around me, I soak it all in.

Most importantly, I stop and I listen.

I listen before I respond and jump.

I listen before I let my emotions speak up.

I listen to how someone is portraying their body.

I listen to how the words are coming out, loudly or softly?

I’ve learned to listen as I’ve been on this path.

This never-ending train of constant wreck.

I am fortunate enough to earn my way.

Putting in work every single day.

I have a lot of weaknesses I’m figuring out.

I try to find a way to turn them around.

Like why the fuck do I speak so loudly?

And why do I cut so deep when I speak?

Let’s have these conversations with ourselves and one another.

Let’s try to understand a little more about each other.

Don’t be afraid of what others have to say.

Instead embrace the words in your own kind of way.

-Dear Perception

Speaking of Reality

mental health, Poetry, thoughts

Breathe in and breathe out.

Is that the light?

I was born into this world ready to die.

Where is my mind?

Developing, still just cells.

Who will I become?

Only time will tell.

It’s been years and years

I’ve yet to discover who I am

Other than a case full of anxiety and stress.

Overwhelmed, I’m failing at my own tests.

Chin up, dry those tears,

You are stronger than you appear.

When I was born, I didn’t know there was a future till it became clear.

Life isn’t what you make it but how you take it.

Life is a forever canvas that starts blank.

Fill it up with the experience then wipe it away.

Come back on a rainy day.

When you’re weak as fuck and your emotions can relate.

When you find the courage to demolish the slate.

When you throw it all out, release your mind, you can create.

Life is about interpretation.

A battle of the mind and the soul.

A losing one if you let your mind take control.

There’s a common denominator between yourself and I.

We are all human and we will all die.

Beyond that, we are all just trying to survive.

So tell me why…

Do you think that you’re better than the rest?

When in reality we could all just be friends.

We could help each other out instead of competing.

We could realize that we all need a heart to beat.

We could hold out our hands, tell others we understand.

Let them know that it’s okay.

Let them know it’s normal to break.

Let them know that we’ll help them stand back on their feet.

Instead we kick people when they’re down.

Then pray to god like “why me?”

So you see, it all could be so simple.

Let go of the arrogance and be kind to other people.

-Dear Perception

Slow Demise 💥

anxiety, mental health, thoughts

Sometimes, poetry won’t cut it when you feel like your brain is maxing out.

I’m on the verge of having an anxiety attack.

I recognize the precursors by now.

There’s a tightness in my stomach, my back is aching, my head hurts, I can’t sleep.

Now I’m like a ticking time bomb to nobody but myself.

Waiting for the hyperventilation to start.

Waiting for the tears to fall and not stop.

Waiting for the never ending thoughts to amplify in my head, every negative thing at one time. All of the pain, the struggle, the future, the past, the happiness, all of it merges together and explodes.

In those moments, there’s no control of my emotions.

I don’t like when things are out of control.

I am a problem solver. I find solutions. I don’t make excuses.

In these states of panic, I’m none of those things.

I’m just drained.

I’m tired.

I don’t want to do a damn thing anymore until this stupid attack happens and I can move forward.

However, I have to do the things. Right?

Who else is going to do it?

So my battle begins internally once more.

How much longer until anxiety wins?

-Dear Perception

Anxiety Nights

anxiety, depression, mental health, Poetry, thoughts

Tonight’s one of those nights,

Where things creep into my mind.

Staring blankly at the black screen under my closed eyes.

The vibe just isn’t right.

My heart keeps jolting inside.

Searching for answers I can’t find.

So I sit and take in the silence.

But…

The questions never end.

It’s all starting to blend.

Why that and why this.

I’m so tired of this shit.

I don’t even know how to react sometimes.

I think about giving this life back sometimes.

I truly wish, that I wouldn’t slack sometimes.

Anxiety, is fucking wack sometimes.

You gotta be, a lot stronger than your mind.

Intelligence is built from a real small line.

Open up, to other perspectives.

Stop arguing, shut up, and listen!

-Dear Perception

Be the Person You Need

advice, Poetry, thoughts

It’s easy to get wrapped up emotions.

It really gets you going.

Rage is exploding.

It’s difficult to settle your mind.

Tell it to chill out one more time.

Understand positive and negative vibes.

Protect your energy.

Be who you need someone to be.

Remind yourself daily.

Be kind, be at peace.

Someone needs help, pick them up.

Who cares if that homeless person needs a buck.

You have a car, food, a home.

Lend him one or five, remember your morals.

Remember that you need someone.

Remember sometimes we ain’t tough.

We suffer in silence and figure shit out.

Why don’t you be there for someone else?

Be the someone you need.

The someone that lends an ear till it’s bleeds.

The someone who’s not selfish but humble.

Understand we’re all surviving in this jungle.

Be selfless, expect nothing in return.

Sometimes be giving, teach a lesson to be learned.

Earth is not our final resting place and it’s never been.

So make your mark while you’re here and you can!

-Dear Perception

No Escape

anxiety, depression, mental health, Poetry, thoughts
Photo cred: Mat Reding

They say that we all live to die.

My question is why?

Why do we build up this life?

When in the end we say bye?

Does our life serve a purpose?

Have we created fictional versions

Of what life is supposed to be

Making it a harder excursion.

We give and we take

Some take more than others

Some give more away

Some do things for cover.

Make themselves feel better.

Smile on their face, camera rolling.

The video will break records.

Social media has become so controlling.

Open your eyes.

Be a silent observer.

Take in other’s mind.

Learn to do better!

In the end we all die.

That’s not a lie. I must say.

Your grave will be no bigger than mine.

In the end, there’s no escape!

-Dear Perception

Neutral eMotions

anxiety, Poetry, thoughts

All of a sudden time stops for a moment.

Your world stops.

Nothing else matters.

Your mind becomes blocked.

Then suddenly it’s clear to see.

Living in a world of pain.

The purpose of life is now so real.

Life is a losing game.

Grief never leaves.

The what if’s never stop.

The agony inside takes over.

It will never be what it was.

I try not to think.

I think too much.

Who am I?

What do I want?

I live for others.

Not myself.

I want everyone to be happy.

Hopefully nobody can tell.

I don’t know what I’m doing.

In this life that I have for myself.

Everyday I keep doing it though.

Only time is going to tell.

-Dear Perception

Late Thoughts 🌙

Poetry, thoughts

Let’s talk about long days and longer nights.

Staying up late with too much shit upon my mind.

There’s a million things to do and simply not enough time.

So here I lie, sleep deprived.

This repetition is insane.

But I can’t stop my brain.

So it’s the same everyday.

I look forward to no changes.

Life gets hectic, people fail.

Well I would rather go to hell.

I’ve been through too much shit to bail.

Still managed to stay out of jail.

You see we all can make our choices.

Hear excuses in people’s voices.

I think people need to take courses.

In basic life skills, maybe more shit.

I survived and learned to do so.

With no guidance, just my own codes.

I’m observant, assume I know know.

My mouth won’t indulge in your exposure.

Needless to say, secrets are safe.

I’ll tuck them away, no need to play games.

Life could really be so easy.

If everyone went about their own ways.

-Dear Perception