I briefly mentioned this in my book, but my dad always gave me this advice. My dad, he’s a trip. I know him, but I don’t. I know certain things about him, but there’s no bond really that I feel. It’s cool I have a dad, I try to keep up with him and offer to help him when needed. He likes to act likes he’s fine. He does drugs too, is an alcoholic. He’s like the most functioning addict I think I know. He works hard still, labor and maintenance work mainly. He is a survivor, but a lonely survivor. It’s kind of sad, but he’s lived that way for so long he’s so used to it. Scared to let anybody get really close. A true black sheep.
My dad always used to pride himself on the illegal shit that he used to do and at the end he used to follow up with, “But I didn’t get caught!”. Anytime I would tell him something, that was probably a wrong decision, he would be like, “But did you get caught!”.
My dad taught me plenty of things, in the same manner that my mom did. I learned through his mistakes. I also learned to keep the house clean, stay busy always. He doesn’t rest. Doesn’t know how. That is definitely passed down to me.
If I would say his parenting advice never helped me I would be a huge liar. The truth is, I’ve done my fair share of bad things in life. I’ve learned and regretted some of them. All in all, I took away the fact that I tried really hard to not get caught. Strategizing is a big skill of mine these days.
In all my life, I think I have gotten caught twice. Once when I was 6 or 7, hanging out with my 15 year old sister, the police were called on us because we “stole” candy and stuff but in reality the food stamp card got denied and we didn’t know that was going to happen. We would all just take turns on each of our parent’s food stamps card and take care of the neighborhood kids. We were a little pack that ran the streets. It wasn’t my sister’s turn that time, we trusted the people we were with, but we walked out of the store with our snacks while they stayed behind to pay and before I knew it, I was hiding under a table in the corner store waiting for the cops to get there. I was terrified. The lady copy told me to get out from under the table and sat down next to me while they dug through the dumpster to recover some candy. The guy we were with told him he threw it in there, but he really ate it. He was detained that day, I watched him laugh as they put him in the back of the cop car. He was the oldest, so naturally they had to take someone in for “stealing”. They let my sister walk me home.
The second time, I stole from a friend in middle school. Took money from her purse while she went to the RR, too many people saw, I thought I was being cool. Someone snitched, I paid the girl back and admitted my faults. I did feel embarrassed about that one. That was supposed to be my friend and I let her down.
The point is, “Don’t get caught” taught me to think smart. Think ahead. If I wanted to “sneak out” how could I do that being smart. This also led me to just not lie about it. If I don’t lie, I won’t get caught because there is nothing to catch.
So now, I’m a super honest person, blunt as can be, and I don’t have to worry about being caught because I’m not doing anything wrong and there’s nothing to lie about. People deserve honesty and that is what I will always give off, whether or not the truth hurts, I think you deserve the truth!