Be the Person You Need

advice, Poetry, thoughts

It’s easy to get wrapped up emotions.

It really gets you going.

Rage is exploding.

It’s difficult to settle your mind.

Tell it to chill out one more time.

Understand positive and negative vibes.

Protect your energy.

Be who you need someone to be.

Remind yourself daily.

Be kind, be at peace.

Someone needs help, pick them up.

Who cares if that homeless person needs a buck.

You have a car, food, a home.

Lend him one or five, remember your morals.

Remember that you need someone.

Remember sometimes we ain’t tough.

We suffer in silence and figure shit out.

Why don’t you be there for someone else?

Be the someone you need.

The someone that lends an ear till it’s bleeds.

The someone who’s not selfish but humble.

Understand we’re all surviving in this jungle.

Be selfless, expect nothing in return.

Sometimes be giving, teach a lesson to be learned.

Earth is not our final resting place and it’s never been.

So make your mark while you’re here and you can!

-Dear Perception

Value Your Efforts

advice, thoughts

Not everyone is going to.

It’s typical for humans to crave reassurance. Sometimes, a little praise for what you’re doing may be nice. However, that’s not always the case.

Sometimes, nobody is going to tell you that you’re an amazing human being and that what you’re doing is right. In reality, nobody knows if what they are doing is right but society has made money power so we know that if we have money we’re doing okay…?

The point is, don’t let society make you feel any type of way. Look around at America right now, there’s nothing pleasing about it. So be yourself and remember to value your own effort because as long as you’re trying, you’re doing an amazing job!!

-Dear Perception

Don’t Get Caught

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I briefly mentioned this in my book, but my dad always gave me this advice. My dad, he’s a trip. I know him, but I don’t. I know certain things about him, but there’s no bond really that I feel. It’s cool I have a dad, I try to keep up with him and offer to help him when needed. He likes to act likes he’s fine. He does drugs too, is an alcoholic. He’s like the most functioning addict I think I know. He works hard still, labor and maintenance work mainly. He is a survivor, but a lonely survivor. It’s kind of sad, but he’s lived that way for so long he’s so used to it. Scared to let anybody get really close. A true black sheep.

My dad always used to pride himself on the illegal shit that he used to do and at the end he used to follow up with, “But I didn’t get caught!”. Anytime I would tell him something, that was probably a wrong decision, he would be like, “But did you get caught!”.

My dad taught me plenty of things, in the same manner that my mom did. I learned through his mistakes. I also learned to keep the house clean, stay busy always. He doesn’t rest. Doesn’t know how. That is definitely passed down to me.

If I would say his parenting advice never helped me I would be a huge liar. The truth is, I’ve done my fair share of bad things in life. I’ve learned and regretted some of them. All in all, I took away the fact that I tried really hard to not get caught. Strategizing is a big skill of mine these days.

In all my life, I think I have gotten caught twice. Once when I was 6 or 7, hanging out with my 15 year old sister, the police were called on us because we “stole” candy and stuff but in reality the food stamp card got denied and we didn’t know that was going to happen. We would all just take turns on each of our parent’s food stamps card and take care of the neighborhood kids. We were a little pack that ran the streets. It wasn’t my sister’s turn that time, we trusted the people we were with, but we walked out of the store with our snacks while they stayed behind to pay and before I knew it, I was hiding under a table in the corner store waiting for the cops to get there. I was terrified. The lady copy told me to get out from under the table and sat down next to me while they dug through the dumpster to recover some candy. The guy we were with told him he threw it in there, but he really ate it. He was detained that day, I watched him laugh as they put him in the back of the cop car. He was the oldest, so naturally they had to take someone in for “stealing”. They let my sister walk me home.

The second time, I stole from a friend in middle school. Took money from her purse while she went to the RR, too many people saw, I thought I was being cool. Someone snitched, I paid the girl back and admitted my faults. I did feel embarrassed about that one. That was supposed to be my friend and I let her down.

The point is, “Don’t get caught” taught me to think smart. Think ahead. If I wanted to “sneak out” how could I do that being smart. This also led me to just not lie about it. If I don’t lie, I won’t get caught because there is nothing to catch.

So now, I’m a super honest person, blunt as can be, and I don’t have to worry about being caught because I’m not doing anything wrong and there’s nothing to lie about. People deserve honesty and that is what I will always give off, whether or not the truth hurts, I think you deserve the truth!

-Dear Perception

Cry if you need to cry!

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My mother, Rest In Peace, wasn’t really around much when I was younger. She was there, but she was in her own twisted world. She suffered from a ton of issues that went undiagnosed. Drug addiction was one of the hardest battles she fought until cancer showed up. Ultimately, I loved my mom but it wasn’t a tight bond. I didn’t learn much from her other than what not to do. Don’t do drugs in front of my kids. Don’t do drugs maybe? Don’t sleep with multiple men and drag the kids along with you to live in different shitty places. Get my shit together and provide a better life for my children. However, when I think of my mom, I also recognize now that she wasn’t okay. She struggled and most of the time, she tried to stay strong for us. However, her strongest was barely keeping us alive.

As I’ve gotten older, I struggle with my own demons, as I truly feel we all do. Panic attacks have began and I never really reached that stage before. Recently, a memory trickled back into my mind. There was a time when I lived with my grandmother. My mom wasn’t around, she showed up randomly, sometimes beat up by her latest boyfriend, she’d show us some love, maybe bring us something and disappear again for a few months. She would call sometimes too.

It was during a phone conversation with her when I was in the kindergarten maybe first grade, I remember her getting on to me about my behavior with my grandma. I started having tantrums really bad, kicking walls, slamming doors, crying and being angry at life I guess. The rules my grandmother had were so strict compared to my mom who let us do whatever we wanted. So I struggled adapting. I told her sometimes I just need to cry and I don’t know why. She told me those exact words, “Cry if you need to cry!”. I talked a lot about the negative shit my mom put us through. Those five words, in my entire life, were what has helped me the most from her. I understand them to the fullest now.

Sometimes, I literally feel like my brain is too full. Like I can go for months and then it’s like a switch turns on the overload/panic button and I need to cry. I fight it, because I hate crying, I feel weak and vulnerable when I cry. In reality, it’s all I need to do. I just need to cry sometimes, get through that, and I feel so much better. I found an article about it, because I got curious as to why I religiously feel better after I cry. Apparently, it’s a real thing that can help you according to PsychologyToday!

Therefore,

Cry if you need to cry!

-Dear Perception